Friday, January 17, 2014

Don't wait for it to be a good year. Make it a good year.

Life is short. We know what happens when we leave our happiness to chance or circumstance. We become frustrated when goals aren’t met quickly or not at all  we end up dwelling on failed resolutions and strings of bad luck. I, for one, have decided that I will make this a great year:

Make it count. The days get shorter when you get older. Try to create as many positive experiences as you can. Make the most of your time with friends and family and you’ll have less regrets. If you have kids, enjoy the time with them because they quickly grow up and you’ll find yourself empty nesting before you know it. A few years ago, I wrote a poem to remind me about the importance of making every moment count. Below is a verse from it:

So when you look back, you will quickly find out;
These ordinary milestones are what life’s about.
Soak it up and take it all in.
You won’t get to relive it again.
Enjoy your kids and all their days
Before they become a memory away.

Make a move. Make it happen. Don't just sit back and wait for something to happen. You may want to lose weight, make a career move, travel more, learn a new skill, or pick up a hobby. But something (time, money, or yourself) has always held you back.

A lot of things can be learned for free. This past year I’ve learned how to make purses (from a mom’s blog), decorate cakes (from Pinterest), and make Rainbow Loom accessories (YouTube) so I can help my sons start their own business.

Time can’t be an excuse either. You can make time, even if that me time means after the kids are in bed or before you normally wake up. Who needs sleep when we’ll have plenty of time to sleep once we die. You can also combine some of these resolutions together. I plan to run the Bad Prom 5K Run with friends, and the Turkey Trot and other charity runs with my kids, which will fulfill my goals of becoming healthier, spending time with family and friends, and helping out in the community.

Make time for family and friends. We’re all busy with family responsibilities and our jobs. Still, I hope my friends and family don't mistake my physical absence with how often I think of them and miss them. This year, I will make time to see more of them (until then, keep your Facebook posts and pictures coming).

Make a bucket list. Everyone should dream big and have wish lists. Dreams do come true if you can find the courage and patience to pursue them. Even if you fail at reaching your dream, you won’t regret it, and the attempt in itself is worth it. My dream is for all my kids to grow old and be as happy as they are now.

Dreams also come as small wishes, as in a bucket list. (If you haven’t written one yet, what are you waiting for?) You’ll gain new experiences, discover new talents, and boost your confidence while checking things off. My passions are writing and doing good deeds, and because of that, my bucket list for this year are made up of items that revolve around that. They are:
  • Write a novel.
  • Write a blog that inspires and is relatable to people.
  • Knit and crochet things for friends, families, and charities.
  • Learn Chinese.
  • Do at least a random act of kindness to a stranger once a month.
Make room for mistakes and failures. While going after your dreams, set realistic expectations and allow room for mistakes. The best way to pursue your goals or achieve growth is to fail and to learn from it. I have also stopped striving for perfection because it doesn’t leave room to accept failure; rather, it opens the door to disappointments.

I will look at my bucket list as something that would be nice to fill, but doesn’t weigh me down while filling it. If I only check one off by the end of this year, it’s one more positive experience than I had the year before.

Make the best of it. Let’s face it. Things seldom go the way we plan. We are often caught off-guard by things that stress us out like impromptu school or work meetings, accidents, emergency visits – the list goes on and on. It doesn’t have to look pretty, but we can make the best of our stressful days.

This is my typical day of working from home three days a week: help my husband with getting the kids to school, make dinner in the crockpot, start workday, monitor the kids with their homework, dinnertime, take the kids to and from their extracurricular activities, catch up on work, put kids to bed, catch up on more chores, and do more work.

I couldn’t be happier. Instead of thinking there is too much to do in one day, I am grateful that my life is so full that it spills over into the next day.

Make love, not war. I love this quote by T.H. Thompson and John Watson: “Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

Life is already hard, and we can all use some help and encouragement. Anticipate that everyone is struggling with something, so just be kind, or at least offer a smile. It’s easier (and worse) to judge or be cruel.

For many people, Facebook can be a forum for respectful discussions, but it seems that people can be too quick to slam other people’s opinions. Instead of changing people’s views on issues, social media is changing people’s minds about being friends with people. Do people need to add this extra battle to their lives? I plan to use Facebook to let my voice heard in other ways – to show appreciation, praise, and encouragement. I love to “like” my friends' posts about their families, hobbies, and interests (to the point of stalking even), and look forward to receiving the likes.

Make someone’s day. Make someone happy and you’ll likely have a better day. We all enjoy uplifting stories, especially ones that involve random acts of kindness. Imagine how great it felt for the recipients of those kind acts and also for the person who didn’t think twice to be nice. I plan to look for opportunities to be kind and help others.

I've recently begun to crochet and knit things for family, friends, and strangers just because I hope it puts a smile on their faces. When you’re in a good mood, your day becomes more positive. I hope that positive feeling becomes contagious and people feel compelled, but not expected, to pay it forward.

Make up and make amends. I’m not advising that we should let all the people who have wronged us to come back into our lives. I'm referring to past friends whom we still think of but have lost touch with either because of a huge misunderstanding or because our lives have gone in different paths. I plan to meet up, make up, and make amends with friends I haven’t contacted in a long time.

Make myself a priority. I intentionally put this last because it’s important to be humble when striving for goals. If I make time for all of the above, it adds up to attaining this last goal. Caring about my loved ones enriches my life. Freeing myself from the fear of making mistakes allows me to take chances, create more opportunities, and feel less pressured – all adding to a happier me.

Volunteering and simply being kind make me become a better person. Offering a smile or a kind word makes me feel good. Paying it forward helps me think of humanity more broadly and builds my network. One day, that stranger (or karma) may return the favor.

How do you plan to make this a good year?

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